Hello and welcome to this episode of Spunky Spirit. I am psychic medium Cari Mugz and today we're going to talk about how to get through the holidays when you're grieving your past loved ones. So I'm not going to pretend that this is going to be easy. Grief is hard, especially during the holidays and during readings all the time. I will have spirits come in and say the holidays are coming up and I know it's going to be hard. Grief is always hard but there's something about the holidays because we make those memories and we make all of those lifetime memories and all those things with our past loved ones before they passed and so holidays are hard and grief is no joke. So I'm not going to pretend that these things that I'm going to talk about today or help you with are going to make things 100% better because to be honest when you grieve someone or the loss of someone you lose a piece of yourself. So it's never, it's never going to go back to normal. It's never going to be the same again. It's just something that you have to learn to live with and that's what's so debilitating. That's what's so hard and so I'm just going to list a few things that can help with the holidays or can help you during the holidays to maybe, you know, it's not going to, it's not a one size fits all things. Grief is really super hard but these things that I'm listing that I'm going to talk to you about today are some of the things that some of my clients do and it does help them. Now I'm not saying that if the passing was recent it's going to make it all better. I'm just saying that these are things that you can do in honor of your loved ones, your past loved ones and they can sometimes help you with the grief because grief is so crazy. Grief is like I kind of, it's like standing in the middle of an ocean and all of a sudden everything's fine and everything's calm and everything's cool and then all of a sudden a wave just comes up and knocks you off your feet and that's how grief is. You can feel like you're okay one day or one minute and then the next minute a song can play and it just, everything washes back over. So this is not a cure thing. If you're struggling this holiday season and you don't think you can get through, seek help, seek help. These are just guidelines and things that some of my clients do to help them get through some of the hard, hard times that they can do in memory of their loved ones or to feel close to their loved ones because they are around you. I know that it's so hard to understand but their spirit is with you especially during the holidays. Like I said in my last Carrie Kenex that I feel like a lot of people say that the veil is thin during Halloween, during Halloween time that's when the veil is the thinnest. I feel like the veil is the thinnest during the holidays. I feel like that that's when they are so much more around. That's when small miracles happen. That's when you can kind of get a glimpse of that spiritual, of that Christmas spirit, of their spirit. So really watch for the signs too. They can use lots of different signs. They can use pennies and dimes and electricity, blinking lights. They'll do anything they can to try and get your attention. They can play music, different songs that they enjoyed or different conversations that you overhear. They can do almost butterflies, birds, feathers and be specific when you ask for a sign because if you just say give me a sign it's sometimes hard for them. Sometimes they'll send you a sign. It'll be a dime on the floor and you won't realize that that's what it is. Smells, they can smell their perfume, their cigarette smoke, different. Sometimes my dad will come through in a big like course or Budweiser track right in front of me. Just know that they're doing their best they can. Sometimes we chalk this up as to being just coincidence but I promise you it's not. It's how they connect and they are with you. The first thing that I want to suggest or one of the things I suggest is do something they liked. So you can do something that they like to do. You can listen to music that they liked which is kind of awesome. Sometimes it's just nice to put in some headphones, turn off the lights, turn on the fireplace, turn on the Christmas lights and just listen to their music, their favorite music or their playlist. Lots of people have playlists for their loved ones or songs that their loved ones liked and sometimes you can feel the connection through that. You can just listen to music, your music, any music that connects you to spirit because if it's not their music like let's say that if their music is something you didn't like that's fine. You can listen to your own music that you liked and that will connect you to that will raise your frequency and that will make your frequency a little higher which will make it easier for your loved ones to connect to you. So listening to your own music, listening to music that's just connects you to spirit is always a good idea. I sometimes just turn on, turn off all the lights and turn on the Christmas tree and the fireplace and I just listen to music that my dad liked or I listen. Well mostly this Christmas it's been old Christmas songs that my family used to listen to, my grandma and my dad and I listened to some of those old songs that they loved because Christmas was a big thing for my family. So the next one is to light a candle. Do the same thing but just light a candle in their honor and just sit and meditate on the flame and just kind of bask in it, just kind of look at it. Know that when you light the candle, set the intention that it's for them. Every time I do a reading I always light a candle before I do readings and so if you come in my office and get a reading you'll see the candle that I light each day because it helps with their, it helps them, it helps to connect, it helps you to connect, it raises your frequency. So if you light a candle in their honor that's also awesome and you can even add to that by doing automatic writing. You can sit down and just write to the music and write, if you don't want to automatic write then write them a letter. Tell them all the things that are going on in your life, things that have happened. You can even say that you're mad or angry because they're not there and they will know, they'll list, they love all the time when I do readings, the spirits will come through and say they wrote me a letter or they're writing to me and I have lots of clients that feel closer to the loved ones when they do automatic writing. So if you don't know what automatic writing is, it's just when you set an intention and then you just write and you don't stop writing. Even if you don't have an idea, if you don't know what to write, you rewrite the same word over and over until another thought comes into your head. And you can do this enough that you can figure out that it's a loved one that is a passive one that's talking to you. Sometimes you'll think, oh this is just me, but when you do it enough you'll be like, nope, this is not just me, this is my passive one. So the candle, the automatic writing and also to lots of my clients like to have memory trees. They do a Christmas tree or a memory tree in their honor and they put nothing but their favorite decorations or pictures of the loved one on the tree in honor of them. And I've had lots of clients do this and I think it's beautiful. Some of my clients don't even take it down after Christmas. They just put up a tree and they put all of their, some of their stuff on it or they put their pictures on it and things that help them to remind them of them. Now if the past loved one has died recently and that's too painful, that's okay. It's like I said, grief can be really super hard and it's just so, and everybody does it differently. And I know some people who don't listen to music right after their loved one passes away because it's too hard and I know some people that don't like to look at the pictures for a little while because it's too hard and if this is what you're going through, that's okay. Give yourself some grace and know that you can always do it when you're ready. You don't have to do it right now. And also to talk to them out loud. They love it when you talk to them out loud. They're already all around you. They're already with you. But when you talk to them out loud, it's like you're taking your dial on your radio and you're tapping into their frequency and it automatically turns you in. So talk tunes you in. So talk to them out loud. They love this. And when you have thoughts in between when you're talking to them, check and see if it's something, because sometimes you think, oh, it's in my head, but they will talk back. But sometimes you think, oh, that's just in my head. So just be aware that they do talk back or that's when they'll leave signs is after you have these conversations with them, they'll leave like pennies or dimes or something around the house or do something to let you know that it was really them. And so talk to them out loud. They love this. They come in readings all the time and say, talk to me out loud. You can do a celebration in their honor. And the way you do this is you just gather some family members or people that were close to them and you do something in their honor. You can send them balloons or you can all write them letters or you can just sit and eat or and talk about them or go through pictures of them. And they love this too. And because when you do get together as a family, so let me explain. So spirits are frequencies. Everything is energy, right? So their energy can be five percent. Some of their energy can be with you and some of it can be with other loved ones at the same time. So they don't just have to be with one person at the same time. At the same time. But when you get together in their honor and do things as a family, they can focus all their frequency in that moment. And so when you are together as a family, watch for different signs. I remember, and I hope it's okay that I share this. I hope my aunt doesn't get mad. But we were at my cousin's wedding and all of his kids were there, his kids, his grandkids, we were all there. And my uncle who had passed away came through because and how he did it was there was a big flower arrangement on the table that we were at. We were all sitting at talking and right in front of us came this big butterfly and just sat right and it wouldn't move. It just sat in the middle of this flower arrangement. And we all knew it was him saying he was there because he could focus all of the energy because all of his kids were there, his grandkids were there, his wife was there. He didn't have to like do 10 percent here and 10 percent here. And we could just do all of his frequency there, which made it that much stronger and that much more available for everybody to see. So when you all get together, just watch for the signs, watch for the little things because even light's blinking because they want you to know that they're there. So a celebration in their honor. And you can also too, this helps too is you can donate in their honor. I have lots of, I have a client who does a special every Christmas does, does a giving thing for families. And I know that, that her past loved one on the other side is helping because he's come through and reading and said, you know that thing that you do at Christmas where you help families? I'm on the other side gathering those families together for you. So that's kind of an amazing thing. So they work with us on the other side when we donate or when we donate things in their honor or do things in their honor, they're always there helping us and they help us on the other side and bring through, you know, he brings some of those families through that need help. He brings them to her or finds them her. Just they help on the other side more than you know, just like I very much trust Barrett that the people who are sent to me are sent to me by not, not them, not you, not my clients, but your loved ones, your loved ones help you find me. So they, they are very much aware and they divinely guide things to happen. So I think that's beautiful. So you can donate and if you don't have any money to donate in there and on the air, their honor or to donate to a special thing in their honor, you can always donate your time. And I know for sure when you donate your time or when you are with those who need, I mean those who need help this during the Christmas season, especially well, just any time. I know that your loved ones are on the other side helping you do this. I feel them so strongly because that's when you raise your frequency and your divine, you're, you're connected to the divine. And so they help you do this. So when you're helping in a soup kitchen or you're helping in, in some capacity, helping children or buying gifts for, for needy children or needy people there with you when you do this. So if you drop presents off at somebody's door or you even that like donate your time like we talked about, then they are completely with you because they love doing this with you. They love, they love when you help others. And but I want to be really careful here too. I do believe in service and I do believe that it's something that helps us. But I also believe that sometimes we give and give and give and we don't take care of ourselves. So make sure you're in a good headspace when you do this. If you're, if you can't even help yourself, sometimes it's so hard to help others. So I don't want you to feel obligated because sometimes the one person that you need to help or that needs the most help is you. So if, even if it's doing something for you one day is like an active service, then do it because they are there and they know that you need them and they, and they are helping you. And then the last one, when you do, do these things and you set an intention, I want you to be aware of the signs around you when you do it because it's hard when you ask for these things or you do these things and then you miss the signs because you're not actively watching for them or you're not aware. Sometimes you have to be in the moment. So make sure when you do these things that you're in the moment. And the last thing that I want you to do too, sometimes you can just, all these things are great and, and they have the good feelings and all the things, but sometimes just sitting and crying and processing the feelings is good because they're going to be with you then too. And if you just need to sit and you need to cry and you need to let it all out and you need to just be with them. You need to go for a drive. You need to take care of you. Take an Epsom salt bath. Do a candle at bath. They're going to be with you and they don't care about showers and things like that. They're not like, watch, they're not, they don't, they're energy. They're with you. They don't care about watching you get dressed or things like that. So don't worry about that. If you just need to take care of you and you need to just sit and you need to cry, I promise you they will be with you during this time too. I have so many spirits that come through and say, remember that time that you had a follow part in the bathroom on the bathroom floor or in the closet or on the front room floor in the car. I was with you. And so if you just need to find a quiet space all by yourself and just cry your little heart out, you do it because I promise you they will be with you. And that's so important because you've got to process. It's so important to process those feelings because grief can floor you. And here's the thing too. These things might help you, but it is no way telling you how to grieve because there is not a one size fits all with grief. And loss is so immensely painful. And to somebody losing, it can be completely different. The pain is pain. Pain is pain regardless, but the intense of the pain for some people can be different for the intense in the pain for others. And nobody's pain is more important than anybody else's. So just remember that pain is pain. So but I do feel like sometimes depending on the relationship, it depends on how close you were to the person or depends on what your relationship was like or if you're carrying guilt or if the last thing you said to them was in, you know, if you were having tension. So do yours, do you do your grief the way you want to, there is no, there is no rule on how long the grief should last. There is no rule on when she, you should get over it because here's the thing, grief changes you. And after a loss, a heavy loss like that, you are no longer the same. You're never going to go back to the way things were. And once you accept that, it gets a little bit easier every day. I lost my dad over 20 years and I still have days that I cry. So and I, it gets a little bit easier, but I don't even like to say that because it's not even easy. It's just, it just changes. It just the grief changes and, and some days are harder than others and, and it's just, it's never the same. It's never going to be the same again. And I think that that's part of the grief is you realizing that your life is never going to be the same again because the life, the loss was so brutal. So I want you mostly to give yourself some grace, give yourself some grace this holiday season and know that it is okay to miss this person and it is okay to cry and it is okay to do all the things that it is okay to not even want to do Christmas if you don't want to. And it's okay to not want to do the holidays or celebrate if you don't want to, you'll get to do it the way you want to. And if this Christmas is a timeout for you, then let it be that, let it be, and that's okay because one thing I do want to tell you and a one thing I do know with all of my heart and I can test, I don't want to say testify to you, but I know they are with you. They are with you. And if you can take a still small moment and live in the present for just a minute, you might be able to feel them. And if you can't, that's okay because the grief can be immensely painful and it can stop you for a minute, but I promise you it will happen. So just give yourself some grace and know that this is, this is, I don't want to say this is going to pass because it never does, but it can get a little bit easier as time goes on. Know that for some of you, that seems impossible, but I promise you it does. And so hold on, that's what they would want you to do. They would want you to hold on. They would want you to do the best that you could and they would want you to not dwell on the loss because you're amazing and you've got amazing things to do ahead of you and they're going to be with you while you're doing it. And so if you can't do it, I have one client that has this as her mantra and her mantra and I love it. If I can't do it with you, then I'm going to do it for you. So just kind of think of that, have that be your mantra during this holiday season. If you can't do it with them, then do it for them and give yourself some grace and love yourself because it's not easy. And so just do the best you can in any minute and every second and every hour and every day and they're going to be with you the whole time. So I hope that that helps. I hope that you guys give yourself some grace this holiday season. I hope that you find some peace in this message and I just want you to know that they love you, they know you love them and they are with you. So I hope you guys have a happy holiday and I will talk next week is actually Christmas. So Christmas is Monday and my podcast goes out on Tuesday. So next week might be a little late. My podcast this next week will probably be Wednesday, not on Monday. If I even do one Christmas week, I might take a break. So we'll see. I love you guys and I will hopefully you guys will catch a little bit of the Christmas spirit and I hope that for you. That is my wish is that this year you find some sort of peace and some sort of spirit and know that I love you and they love you and I mean it. [ 예� Tree Goom saying that in English ]
