I have been thinking a lot lately about confidence.
I mean I teach women how to love themselves and create confidence all the time right? Here are some of the questions I have to ask about confidence.
Where does it come from?
How can I better teach it to my clients?
Is it something that can be taught, or are you just blessed to be born with it?
I truly believe it begins with each individual and it is a skill that can be taught. It is like a muscle, that if worked on properly can be built to be strong. It starts with being kind to yourself... loving who you are.
Our society is so set on how our bodies should "look". Who defines these standards? Our society. Body hating has become a world wide epidemic for most women.
Once that happens, we start to use things like fitness and nutrition to "fix" our body image to fit societies idea of beautiful. In reality fitness and nutrition not only help our physical body but our spirit.
We as women need to be kind to ourselves, we need to exercise for our body and spirit. We need to use food to fuel our bodies.
We are expensive... would you feed your expensive race horse cake and cookies? We need to laugh at ourselves, we need to dance in front of the mirror in out underwear and sing at the top of our voices with our curling irons as our microphones.
Mostly we need to love every single thing about who we are.
We need to love our weakness so we can make them our strengths. We need to love our strengths and show gratitude for them.
Look at yourself in the mirror every day and love every part of you. Your external beauty is such a reflection of your internal beauty. So while you are loving your face, your body, also learn to love your heart and your spirit. Once you learn how to do that, it won't matter what others think. Your confidence will grow and will flourish. This may sound selfish to some... but the greatest gift you can give your family and loved ones is to love who YOU are inside and out.
The biggest self love mistake we all make is comparing ourselves to others. Our bodies, our businesses, how we raise our children.
Don't do this!!
Comparing yourself to others is the biggest thief of self love and self confidence. Honestly.. most of it is made up in our imaginations. Those women who you think "Have it all together" more than likely struggle with different self love issues.
Since you are already imagining what people are thinking of you anyway I want you to try something new.... Try to imagine your own "personal" cheering section. Start seeing yourself as they would see you. This cheering section can be made up of anyone you want. As long as the people you put in it don't judge you and love you unconditionally.
Mine consists of me and God. Really... who else's approval do you need?
I am my biggest fan... Me and my God are the only ones that can love who I am totally, honestly and completely with no judgement.
Once you realize that... then the confidence just comes. You have to work on it daily.... but it's worth it.
I remember reading a holiday poem called Funny, Funny Mother. If you haven't heard of it I will give you a brief summary...
Basically Mom starts out the Holiday Season happy and on top of things.. but as the season progresses, Mom starts to freak out and when Christmas morning comes along... she is lifeless in the chair maxed out on Prozac.
Not that being maxed out on Prozac is a BAD thing... BUT moderation is a good thing.
I used to think this was pretty funny, Until... I became a mother. Then I realized there was some truth to the whole crazy, stressful holiday season.
So here are some tips I have put together to help you NOT be the lifeless crazy Mother on Christmas Day.
1. Acknowledge the stress for what it is: Stress happens. Life happens. Poop happens. Stressful events can cause you to produce more cortisol, drive up your blood pressure which in turn.. is not healthy. Try to realize when you are in a stressful situation that.... Things Happen... and it's ok. This will help your stress levels to stay normal and other things not to rise. (Like your temper)
2. Eat, Drink, and be Merry (reasonably): It's the holidays!! It's time to celebrate, not overindulge. Try to make wise and healthy choices. When you eat a ton of sugar then you don't feel so great, and you can easily get stressed out which takes us back to number 1. So be mindful of how you eat. Try to remember that food "fuels" your body. Fuel it with things that will help you feel good.
3. Exercise for Sanity: Even if it's just 30 minutes a day. Most people think exercise is just to lose weight but it is not. It helps relieve stress and it clears your mind. AND it will help you manage your weight through the holiday season, so you don't gain the statistical "5 pounds"
4. Shopping: Try not to go shopping on the busiest days... you know it's just going to lead to stress.. which goes back to number 1!! And try not to go over indulge and put yourself in to much debt... that also can cause some major stress.
5. Give to Others: It just makes you feel good! Smile at a stranger. Donate food or clothing to the homeless. Caring for others gives you a bonding to others and keeps you grounded. It also gives you a sense of gratitude... which is the greatest feeling ever.
6. Speaking of Gratitude: Get the attitude of gratitude. Make a list of everything you are grateful for. Even if it's just that you got to be alone in the bathroom for 5 seconds before your family came looking for you! Gratitude is the greatest vibration you can be in. It is amazing to feel!
7. Make it Real: There is and never will be a PERFECT Christmas... just ask Clark Grizwald. Sometimes the imperfect Christmases are the ones you will remember the most!
8. Remember the Reason for the Season: Enough said.
9. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF: If you follow me on FB or my blog you KNOW this is a must!! I preach it all the time. You simply can NOT make time for others if you don't make time for yourself!! THE END!! Even if it is 10 minutes of meditation, or just listening to your favorite music. By slowing down and taking time for yourself, you will actually have more energy to accomplish your goals.
There you have it.... now....
This picture is more spiritual to me then physical.
It symbolizes the person we can become, that person inside of us all.
This picture reminds me of the story of the Golden Buddha.
The Story goes as follows:
Over three hundred years ago, the Burmese army planned an attack to invade Thailand. The monks of Thailand were in possession of the most amazing Golden Buddha statue. It is made of solid gold and is valued today at $200 MILLION dollars. The monks were determined to protect the shrine that meant so much to them. While it was priceless to them for reasons that transcend money; they knew that the Burmese would stop at nothing to steal the statue because of its tremendous monetary value. They covered the Golden Buddha with 12 inches of clay knowing that the warriors would totally ignore it and think it worthless. Sadly, the monks were slaughtered in the invasion and the secret of the Golden Buddha stayed hidden for two centuries. The Buddha itself though, remained safe.
In 1957, the monastery was to be relocated. The monks had to move the “Clay” Buddha to its new location. The Buddha cracked while being transported. Wanting to protect the priceless shrine, the monks lowered it back down and decided to wait until the next day to bring more powerful equipment to help them move it. That night it started to rain. In the dark of night, the head monk took his flashlight and went out to make sure the Buddha was covered. The light of the flashlight shone into the crack of the clay, he saw a glimmer…a reflection of something underneath that shroud of clay. He immediately started to carefully chisel away shards of clay to find that the glimmer grew brighter. Hours later, and all the clay removed…he was in the presence of a Buddha made of solid gold. It now resides in The Temple of the Golden Buddha in Bangkok, Thailand. Every year, millions of people go there to see this magnificent work of art and to worship at his feet. And to think, it may never have been uncovered.
Seeing this picture reminded me that WE all have a GOLDEN BUDDHA hidden somewhere inside us. We just have to chip shards of clay away every day to find it. Sometimes we like to cover ourselves up with clay because we are scared of the shiny Buddha inside of us.
What is the clay that covers us: DOUBT, FEAR, FEELING WORTHLESS, FEAR, FEAR, FEAR
I am telling you.. It isn't always easy, but if you stay consistent and keep trying and keep chipping... your Golden Buddha will shine for all of us to see!!
If you feel like you want help chipping away at the clay... I would love for you to join one of my Balance Workshops. In these workshops I empower women to create self confidence and balance through fitness, nutrition and personal development.
Contact me for more details.
Okay, I am going to get a little vulnerable and admit.... when I first started being a Health & Wellness Coach my main concern was getting stronger, losing weight and liking the way I looked physically
I even named my team Strong & Sexy. I liked the feeling of empowerment it had.
But on this "Strong & Sexy" journey something happened... something I wasn't really prepared for.
You all know that I am a HUGE believer in personal development (reading or listening to self improvement).
Well it just so happens that as a Beachbody Coach it is VITAL to do daily personal development. I love that I represent a company that feels that fueling your brain "nutrition" is just as important as fueling your body with "nutrition".
So it is no surprise that on this "Strong & Sexy" journey to better myself on the outside... something AMAZING also took place on the inside. I started to love who I was unconditionally... even with all my mistakes, my past, my divorce, my "issues". Even if I wasn't Strong & Sexy on the outside, I was becoming Brave & Beautiful on the inside.
I dare say... it is a HARD journey. There are things you realize about yourself that you didn't even know existed in the first place when you start working on yourself physically and emotionally.
I hated weakness... My Dad was an alcoholic while I was growing up. He was an amazing man and I miss him very much. His only problem was he drank a lot. No matter how many times he tried to quit he just couldn't do it. My Mom wouldn't leave him. I would beg her and beg her. She refused. I am ashamed to admit... I secretly thought she was weak.
Little did I know.. I was the weak one. Wanting her to walk away from him (he wasn't mean or abusive) wanting her to run away.... little did I know SHE was the strong one. SHE was the amazing one. Because she stayed we ended up having some amazing years with him before he died. Thank you mom for being Brave. Karma totally kicked my butt when I had to walk away from a very unhealthy 15 year marriage a few years later.
Because of my hate for weakness... I am waaaayyy to hard on myself. I go, go, go, and I don't stop. I thought rest was laziness and weakness. Because of Personal Development I have learned otherwise. Your body needs rest just as it does exercise.
Another thing I learned, is that I have always felt like I was NEVER good enough. After my divorce I always compared myself to other women. I always had to go above and beyond to try to be the best. I am happy for people when they reach their goals but I also instantly think
"Why am I not good enough?" and the CRAZY thing is.. I teach women to NOT do this ALL THE TIME.
I think it's time to start practicing what I preach.
I've learned that weakness is ok, it's part of who we are... and I am good enough.
I am Brave & Beautiful.
It took me 40 years... but I am starting to FEEL Brave & Beautiful and it is AMAZING.
The crazy thing is... I learned this from daily Personal Development. I have learned more about myself this past year being a coach and helping others then I could have ever imagined. The changes I have made on this adventure were not only physical.
Now... I want YOU to know... everyone reading this... My daughters... My Challengers... My Family.... My Coworkers
YOU ARE BRAVE.... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.... And you can do anything you set your mind to. It doesn't happen over night but when it does happen you wont regret ever going on such an amazing journey.
If you want to learn more about how to FEEL Brave and Beautiful, contact me I would love for you to join my next Balance Workshop.
Be Brave & Beautiful
Sometimes do you get so far behind, or so far gone you just want to give up?
This can effect every aspect of your life, you think you've messed up so much that there is no way of fixing it, you think there is no way "back".
Thoughts like you are to over weight, to old, to addicted.... the list goes on.
You think there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
We all do this to some extent.
The days we over eat and think "Well I've already messed up today so what's one more cookie?'
That one more cookie is another 100 calories that you just added to the problem.
This is when we throw in the towel or give up. We get tired. We don't see a bigger picture or an end in sight.
We...... Give Up.
I am here to tell you....
It is NEVER OVER
It is NEVER TO LATE TO BEGIN
Seriously... what have you got to lose? You won't be any worse off than when you started. Sure you might have some failures, but you just pick yourself back up and try again.... and again.... and again....
I am here to tell you, it's not to far gone, you haven't messed up to bad, you are not a lost cause.
You are amazing and you can do what ever you put your mind to.
Where you are right now took awhile to get there. You didn't get addicted over night... you didn't gain the weight over night.. AND who defines old anyway?
Where you are today started with a series of consistent habits you made daily. Now just think... imagine if you change those daily habits.... what would the outcome be within a year?
Would it happen over night? NO, but it would happen. You would eventually see small and gradual change... then BAM one day you'll wake up and think WOW... It really did work.
I'm just sayin...It's never is to late......
If you want to learn more about changing your daily habits, and creating balance and confidence through fitness and nutrition, I would LOVE to have you in one of my Balance Workshops.
To many times during our weight loss journey, we measure our victories by the number on the scale. We let the number on the scale define our self worth.
The number on the scale DOES NOT MEASURE your self worth. That number on the scale does NOT define who you are.... period.
You are beautiful inside and out. Regardless of the number on the scale.
To many times I have challengers that are so focused on THAT number. They let it become who they are... they let it become their "source" and they allow it to deplete all their energy because they make it their only focus.
I want to list a few key things that you can celebrate on your journey so your goals are not soooo focused on the scale.
1. Take BEFORE and AFTER pictures. You would be amazed at the results you see in pictures rather then the scale. Your body is toning and losing inches. In the picture below I haven't lost a ton of weight... but you sure can see that what I am doing is working.
2. Clothes fitting better or not so tight. This one speaks for itself3. You have more energy or just feel stronger. When you start a new exercise routine you are bound to feel more energy. Value that. 4. Having the energy to do the things you haven't before. Climbing the stairs, loading laundry, playing with kids.5. Having the ability to love who you are regardless of the number on the scale.
These are all NON SCALE
Non scale victories should actually be celebrated more
than the numbers reached on the scale.
You are beautiful
no matter what the scale says.
If you want to create balance and self confidence be sure to sign up for one of my monthly workshops. I would love to help you reach those non scale victories through the right nutrition and exercise. Click here
for more details.
I want to talk about FEAR today.
We all have felt it, we all have experienced it. It can paralyze you. It can drop you to your knees, It can stop you in your tracks. It can stop you from moving forward.
So how can something that isn't real FEEL SO REAL?
Now... let me just say.. there is a difference between DANGER and FEAR. Danger is VERY REAL. We try daily to keep ourselves out of dangerous situations. BUT FEAR is not real.. here is why.
Fear is Your imagination. You picture outcomes or scenarios in your head and you stress and worry about them, when in reality.... they MAY NOT EVEN HAPPEN... did you get that? Fear is usually you making up stuff in your head.. that MAY NOT EVEN HAPPEN.
Fear is not of God or anything good. Fear is our own selves blocking our selves with a WHAT IF??
What if I fail?
What if people make fun of me?
What will people think of me?
What if I don't win?
Well.... What then... you will still live... you will just be stronger and have enough courage to try again. Facing your fear is the most accelerating experience you will ever have. Better than any drug out there. AND you will gain confidence, even if you fail, because you know you tried.
FEAR is DUMB... and the craziest thing is we bring it on ourselves.
My kids always will say to me
"Mom I am scared"
And I will always say back to them
" I know sweety, life can be scary... but that's when we DO IT SCARED"
So my challenge for you today is... take that one thing you have always been scared to try... and
DO IT SCARED.
There are going to be times in your life when you
need to be your
Those times are...
When you graduate from high school
When you have your first child
When you don't think you can take ONE. MORE. STEP.
There are a lot of times when you can receive help, borrow someone's light, ask for advice, vent to whoever will listen.... but in the end... it is up to YOU.
YOU have to take those first steps. YOU have decide how it's all going to go down.
You can have leaders, you can have coaches, you can have people you admire. But in the end YOU do the work. YOU and you alone hold the magic to change. You hold the keys to YOUR dreams.
The best thing is... I know YOU can do it.
I BELIEVE IN YOU.
I tell my girls all the time.. All it takes is Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust... Here's the key
Pixie Dust = ACTION
In my profession I see so many women who want change so badly... but they depend on me or their spouse, or friend to find it for them hold their hand every step of the way. They can only hold your hand for a little bit... then the rest is up to you.
You are your own hero.
And isn't that the idea... for someone to lead you to finding your own power within you?
Yes.. I know it can be scary. I know there can be failure.
Things happen the way they do for a reason. Just take that first step. Decide today that YOU hold the keys to your own life.
Make the decision today to be your own Hero.
YOU'VE TOTALLY GOT THIS!!
Want more ideas on how to be your own hero. Download my FREE EBOOK on Achieving Balanc here.
I just went to my first BeachBody Summit Convention and I just have to say... It was life changing. The focus theme was NEVER GIVE UP.
There was a lot of talk about failure and how you NEED failure to succeed. There really is no success with out failure. The problem is... when people fail... they end up quitting. They do this because they don't understand the process of success. Success NEEDS failure to happen to get to where you need to be.
Some people forget that. They fail, they get embarrassed, discouraged and then they quit. What you don't realize is... success is right around the corner. You just have to have Faith.
I have a friend who has been trying to get pregnant for years.
She has been to Dr's, took all the tests, tried all the treatments.... Finally she was told that she would never be able to conceive. She cried, she got angry.... she failed multiple times. But she wasn't ready to give up.
She opted in a foster program, she still wanted to mother and nurture children even if they weren't her own. If she couldn't have her own to mother.. she would help others. Time after time she was turned down because she worked full time and they wanted someone who could stay home with the children she fostered. She cried, she got angry and she ALMOST gave up.
She learned at this convention that you NEVER GIVE UP... EVER. She knew God had a plan for her.
She got sick on the flight home, but the sickness never went away even when she got home. Her husband teased her that her "flight" sickness was sure a lot like pregnancy symptoms. She took the pregnancy test to prove to him that it was the FLU and she wasn't pregnant..... BUT she was wrong... The test was positive.
You can change your strategy... your game plan... but NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.
Don't let failure keep you down, always remember to finally reach success.. you have to have some failure.